Horrible online dating messages
You are so fine I would suck on your pretty toes and lick the bottom of your feet until they are clean. And for the next two weeks pretend I was a hungry bear.""I would climb over the Grand Canyon, one-armed and blindfolded, on a set of rusty monkey bars, covered in hornets whilst bearing a 12-pound bag of marbles tied to my genitals, if it meant that once reaching the other side I could put my name in a hat with 1 million other names just for a chance to see your beautifully symmetric elbows in real life.""The reason for this message is because that it is real important to me to find a match because I never had a girlfriend before and actually I’m still a virgin. In its place, I see a tattoo that reads 'I hate my daddy today.' Tattoos are for male military service personnel, and women who want to be remorseful for the rest of their lives.""I am your commanding officer. What I am trying to say is don’t reject me for all the wrong reasons. Whenever I see a tattoo on a woman, I don’t see the actual tattoo. Don’t make me use my smell-a-meter to sniff you down. I read your profile and I'm interested in getting to know you more. I might look weird when you see me, but get to know me. Am I actually trespassing or would you like to learn more about each other?
Crafting an online dating profile can be a bit of a headache.
That’s because focusing on the physical makes a woman feel you’re not interested in getting to know the real her, explains Spira. “Mention something else you admired about her profile,” suggests Spira.
“Take your relationship from online to offline after a few digital exchanges,” recommends Spira.
According to Ok Cupid, messages with those “words” get replies less than 10% of the time (ouch). You’re better off spelling things out like a grown-ass man.
Ok Cupid discovered that messages with those words receive responses 25% of the time or less.